09.05.2025 – Habemus Blablam

Das ist mit Abstand die perverseste Postkarte, die mir je unter die Augen kam.
Als der neue Papst gestern auf den Balkon trat, dachte ich spontan: Das ist die Reinkarnation von Louis de Funès , ein französischer Filmkomiker, Hochzeit in den 60ern. Seine Filme waren so unfassbar dämlich, dass sie auf einer Metaebene zum Brüllen komisch waren. Im Gegensatz zu Chaplin, Buster Keaton oder Laurel und Hardy, deren mitunter bittere Komik aus Konflikten mit einem übermächtigen, bedrohlichen (kapitalistischen) System entsprang, war Funès eine heitere Flachfigur, an deren individuellem Scheitern man sich ergötzen wollte. Wenn man denn auf groteskem, hysterischem Grimassieren und Gestikulieren stand.
Und so hatte ich also beim Erscheinen des Bürger Prevost, vereinsintern Leo XIV genannt, eine Epiphanie. Nämlich dergestalt, dass nicht des Geist des HERRN/ der FRAU in ihn gesaust sei, wie es die Angehörigen seiner Skurrilsekte glauben, sondern der Geist von Louis de Funès. Und er nun in seiner Ansprache in ein groteskes, hysterisches Grimassieren und Gestikulieren verfiele wie weiland der Verblichene.

War aber nicht. Er verfiel nur in ein für Atheisten schwer verständliches Blabla, wirkte dabei aber nicht unsympathisch. Anders als beim deutschen Papst Ratzinger damals, bei dessen Anblick mir sofort der Gedanke durch das Hirn schoss: Das ist ein böser Mensch. Ich würde nur zu gerne wissen, warum der Mann zurückgetreten ist. Offizieller Grund: Schlaflosigkeit. Rücktritt wegen mangelndem Bubu? Er lebte nach seinem Rücktritt noch fast 10 Jahre ….
Es ging wohl eher um die Vatileaks Affäre, in der es um homosexuelle Netzwerke im Vatikan ging, verbunden mit Erpressungen und illegalen Geldflüßen. In den Dokumenten sollen auch explizite Namen genannt werden. In wieweit Bürger Ratzinger darunter ist, ist mir nicht bekannt. Ist mir auch Wumpe, die können privat machen, was sie wollen, solange sie in weltlichen Dingen die Schnauze halten und anderen Leuten nicht irgendeine abgeranzte Moral predigen
Ich bin Atheist, Gottseidank, und versuchte mir einen Reim auf Bürger Prevost Ausführungen zu machen. Es gelang mir nicht und ich war dann eher fasziniert von den offensichtlichen körperlichen Reaktionen der zigtausenden Abergläubigen, die auf dem Petersplatz ihrer Erlösung harrten. Tränen, Verzückung, Entrückung, die ganze Klaviatur dessen, was demokratischen Figuren abgeht. Tränen, Verzückung, Entrückung bei einer Ansprache von Olaf Scholz habe ich zumindest noch nicht erlebt.
Ich halte diese Art von Emotionen, die an die Ebene der Metaphysik geknüpft sind, für brandgefährlich. Auf dem Petersplatz mag das drollig wirken. Aber lassen Sie auf dem Balkon nicht die Reinkarnation von Louis de Funès stehe, sondern die von Benito Mussolini, dann werden Sie verstehen, was ich meine. Im Krieg in der Ukraine mobilisieren und faszinieren bereits jetzt die orthodoxen Popen auf beiden Seiten die Massen in den Krieg, ins Durchhalten, sich gegenseitig verfluchend und hassend.
Ich schaue mir jetzt den Louis de Funès Film „Louis und seine außerirdischen Kohlköpfe“ an , in dem er durch seine Blähungen Außerirdische alarmiert, die daraufhin auf de Erde landen.

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