Zwei Bände „Best of Western“, für 1 Euro. „Blutspur nach Laramie“ und „Aufgebot des Bösen“. Von mir leicht angepasst an die Realität von 2025, featuring Lars Fallbeil, der neue Vizekanzler. Das Werk gibt es als Hauptgewinn bei meinem beliebten (jedenfalls bei mir) Quiz im Rahmen eines Auftritts bei einer Organisation, die der SPD nicht ganz fremd gegenüber steht. Nein, es ist nicht der Vatikan, auch wenn innerorganisatorische Willensbildung und Entscheidungsprozesse da ähnlich dubios top down ablaufen. Die Parallelen zwischen Vatikan und SPD sind ebenso erstaunlich wie offensichtlich: Irgendein „Basta“ Pontifex gibt den Kurs vor, und die Herde folgt willig. Es sei denn, sie ist schon ausgetreten, fluchtartig, in Massen. Der päpstliche Unfehlbarkeitsanspruch bei der SPD lautet: Wer bei mir Führung bestellt, bekommt sie auch. Der Verkünder dieser frohen Botschaft, die hanseatische Führer-Frohnatur Olaf Scholz, hatte nur vergessen, zu erwähnen, wohin die geführte Reise geht. Schnurstracks in den Abgrund nämlich, vor dessen Abbruchkante ein riesiges Schild steht: „Achtung! Freier Fall! 5 Prozent!“.
Bisher hatte ich gedacht, Scholz und Agenda-Schröder wären die Sargnägel der einst stolzen Arbeiterpartei SPD. So kann man sich täuschen. Mittlerweile werden die Nägel größer als der Restsarg. Genau 1,96 Meter groß. Einen Namen hat der Nagel auch: Lars Klingbeil, der mächtigste Mann in der SPD. Der Mann, der die Wahlkatastrophe der SPD im Februar mitzuverantworten hat, hat sich selbst befördert zum Vizekanzler und Finanzminister und bleibt Parteivorsitzender. Sowas nennt man Putsch. Früher wurden Putschisten erschossen. Heute tauchen sie jeden zweiten Tag in einer Talkshow auf. Diesen Prozess nennt man Zivilisation.
Lars Klingbeil, Wahldebakel-Verantwortlicher, ist also Vizekanzler, Finanzminister und Parteivorsitzender. Das ist so, als würde ein Autofahrer seinen Kleinbus mit ein paar Insassen, mehr ist es bei der SPD ja nicht mittlerweile, total besoffen, orientierungslos mit ausgeschaltetem Navi, durch die Gegend kutschieren und gegen einen Baum donnern. Totalschaden. Für den er seine Beifahrerin verantwortlich macht und ihr den Führerschein abknöpft. Seine Mitfahrer lässt er im Regen stehen und ruft sich eine Stretchlimousine als Taxi. Die Rechnung geht an die Mitfahrer. Er selber lässt sich am nächsten Tag zum Autofahrer des Jahres ausrufen.
Wenn der Musikwunsch von Olaf Scholz zum Zapfenstreich passt, dann auf die Leistung von Lars Fallbeil: Respect. Sowas muss man erstmal bringen.
Falls Sie jetzt Klarheit und Fröhlichkeit für Ihr Gemüt brauchen, und die werden Sie für die Schlusspointe brauchen, hier der zweite Musikwunsch von Scholz, das zweite Brandenburgische Konzert. .
Schlusspointe, ein absoluter Brüller. Quizfrage: Welchen überaus berühmten Orden besitzt Lars Fallbeil? Den Orden „Wider den tierischen Ernst“. Begründung: „… Er verstehe Politik als Service an den Menschen. Um seine Argumente zu vertreten, setze er auf Feinfühligkeit…“
Das werden Saskia Esken und seine Mitfahrer blind unterschreiben.
Wenn es sowas wie Bach nicht gäbe, würde ich mich erschießen.
Oder in Urlaub fahren. Tschüssikowski.
Respect ist natürlich nicht von Aretha Franklin, sondern vom Soulgott Otis Redding. HIer beim Monterey Festival kurz vor seinem Tod. Als ob man von einer Lokomitve überrollt würde
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