30.05.2019 – Mein Gott, liegt hier irgendwo ein verwesender Iltis?!


Rosen auf dem Frühstückstisch.
Gut, dass es kein Geruchskino oder -Internet gibt. Es reicht, wenn unsere Sinne hauptsächlich über Hören und Sehen malträtiert werden. Mit dem Schmecken als Sinn ist es insofern einfacher, als wir uns die diesbezüglichen Belästigungen am ehesten aussuchen können. Wenn mir ein Wein nicht conveniert, schütte ich ihn ins Klo. Das Schmecken ähnelt da dem Tasten, dem vermutlich am wenigsten erforschten und geschätzten Sinn des Menschen. Wenn mir was eklig ist, fasse ich es nicht an.
Im obigen Rosen-Bildfall ist es allerdings außerordentlich bedauerlich, dass Sie, liebe Leserinnen, die Geruchsempfindungen mit mir nicht teilen können. Alle fünf Sorten riechen völlig unterschiedlich und über alle Maßen bezaubernd, vom blumigen, zarten Teeton bis hin zu betörend-üppigen Mangonoten.
Keine der Rosen war besonders teuer, das sind keine Edelrosen. Das Vergnügen ist ein kurzes, im Gegensatz zu Schnittrosen sind diese hier auf Duft und nicht auf Haltbarkeit gezüchtet. Dafür halten Schnittrosen eben lange in der Vase und obendrein haben sie den Vorteil, dass sie männlichen Einfaltspinseln, denen nichts anderes einfällt, Liebeserklärungen an die Dame ihres Herzens erleichtern. Rote Rosen, was n Brüller. Da halte ich eine Kiste Bier für erheblich origineller und nachhaltiger.
Ich für meinen Teil trainiere neben meinem Hang zum Luxus der Sinne an diesen Rosen auch ganz praktisch meinen Geruchssinn, der wird im Alter nicht besser, sowas kann man aber schulen. Das macht auch insofern Sinn (!), als es eine übertragbare Fähigkeit ist, zum Beispiel auf Weine, aber auch auf Vulkane. Wenn Sie irgendwo in der Natur herumstromern und riechen auf einmal H2S, wissen Sie: „Potzdonner, hier ist vielleicht ein Vulkan in der Nähe“.
Komischerweise wird mit dem Nachlassen der Sinne die Ekelschwelle ausgeprägter. Ich für meine Teil fühle mich immer öfter immer intensiver von Gerüchen, Tönen, Bildern belästigt. Eigentlich sogar von kompletten Individuen. Ohne als Misanthrop mich zu gerieren, geht mir die Mehrzahl der Zeitgenossen auf den Sack. Beweis? Der heutige Vatertag reicht dafür völlig.
Eine Schule der Sinne ist als ästhetische Bildung auch eine umfassende. Sie bildet eine Grundlage für das Verstehen des Lebens (kleiner hab ich’s gerade nicht, ich kann hier nicht stundenlang an Formulierungen feilen, mein Zug geht), weil sie die Fähigkeit zur Differenz ausprägt. Nur der differenziert denkende und fühlende Mensch kann sich dem Humboldtschen Bildungsideal nähern.
Das lassen wir mal so wirken. Das Nachwirken eines Weines im Mund misst man übrigens in Caudalie, die höchsten Caudaliewerte haben nach meiner Erfahrung Portweine. Die Maßeinheit für Geruch lautet Olf. Ein Olf ist die Geruchsbelastung, die von einem Normmenschen (erwachsene Person mit einem Hygienestandard von 0,7 Bädern pro Tag, 1,8 m² Hautoberfläche und bei sitzender Tätigkeit) ausgeht. In Zukunft werde ich bei Geruchsbelästigungen von Mitmenschen lauthals von mir geben: „Mein lieber Olf!“
Ich haben schon mal angesichts eines monströsen Stinkers neben mir am Kiesteich laut von mir gegeben: „Mein Gott, liegt hier irgendwo ein verwesender Iltis?!“ Hilft nix, der Stinker an und für sich riecht sich selbst zuletzt.

Ich aber, obwohl in diesem Leben nichts mehr werden wollend, habe mich kurzfristig entschlossen, doch noch den nächsten Schritt meiner Karriereleiter zu besteigen, siehe Bild. Es wäre doch eine Schande, wenn derartig stupendes Wissen nur der geschätzten Leserinnenschaft meines Blogs vorenthalten bliebe.

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