Doppelter Regenbogen, doppeltes Glück? Gesehen auf der Rentenfeier eines Freundes, woraus sich auch der Header dieses Eintrags ergibt, in Bezug das Werk eines heute eher unbekannten Autor namens Simmel.
Sich in meinem Umfeld häufende Begriffe wie „Renteneintrittsalter“, „Seniorenkarte“ und „künstliches Hüftgelenk“ weisen unübersehbar daraufhin, dass ich das Bergfest meiner irdischen Existenz überschritten habe. Günstigenfalls bin ich ein Best-Ager, ehrlicherweise dient alles, was ich tue, dazu, den Verwesungsprozess hinauszuzögern. Wobei manche Zeitgenossen, und es sind fast ausschließlich Männer, oft zu Lebzeiten schon so riechen, als seien sie mitten im Kompostierungsprozess.
Zum Fahrtantritt zur obigen Feier trat ich unlängst aus der Haustür und wurde dabei fast von einem Briefträger überrollt wie seinerzeit der Franzmann im Westfeldzug von der Panzergruppe Kleist.
Eher südländischen Geblüts raunzte ich sofort und lautstark den Mann auf den Spuren des Götterboten Hermes an, ob er nicht alle Tassen im Schrank habe. Der Kontrahent war nicht auf den Mund gefallen und gab Contra, so dass sich ein lebhafter Disput entspann, auf dessen Höhepunkt ich, im Wesen tiefdeutsch, dem Postillon eine Beschwerde bei seinen Vorgesetzten ankündigte. Anstatt dass der Mann nun erbleichte und Kotau vollführte, rieb er mir seinen Dienstausweis unter die Nase
„Hier, mein Name, zum Mitschreiben!“
Ich replizierte, vermeintlich würdevoll „Die Diskussion ist beendet“ und verließ die Verbalwallstatt. Hatte aber meine Rechnung ohne den Post-Wirt gemacht, der zielsicher und wirkungshart wie ein Leberhaken hinter mir her wütete:
„Immer diese Senioren, die den ganzen Tag nichts zu tun haben.“
Der Mann war in dieser epischen Wortschlacht Sieger durch technischen K. O., ich ging zu Boden und wurde ausgezählt. Zwar nur von mir selber. Aber das ist schlimmer als alles andere.
Ich war schwerst getroffen.
Verdammt noch mal, ich bin kein Senior, ich bin ein Punk! Innerlich. Oder wenigstens Post-Hippie. Ich kann immer noch meine 40 Jahre alte Badehose (zwischendurch gewaschen!) tragen mit Original-Psychedelic-Design. Wenn ich meine Haare geschickt kämme, sieht das immer noch nach Flächendeckender Kopfhautbewaldung aus.
Und überhaupt „den ganzen Tag nichts zu tun“!
Ich habe es nach langen Mühen geschafft, meine Erwerbsarbeit auf ein Normalmaß zu reduzieren, nur um dafür tiefer in die Welt der Kulturproduktion einzutauchen. Als alter Bürgerradiohase befasse ich mich unter anderem, stets auf dem neuesten medialen Diskurs befindlich, zur Zeit mit der Produktion eines Podcast, mit dem Ziel Senior-Influencer zu werden. Ich habe also 24 Stunden am Tag zu tun, und weil ich damit nicht hinkomme, nehme ich die Nacht dazu.
Und dann sowas.
Die Geschichte war auf der Rentenfeier ein Brüller. Die Leute lagen am Boden vor Lachen, von wo sie wegen künstlicher Hüftgelenke dann nicht mehr hochkamen.
Ich aber entschloss mich, die Vorgesetzten des Mannes zu informieren. Natürlich nicht mit einer Beschwerde, sondern mit einem Lob über dessen Kommunikationskompetenz. Letztlich bin ich Sportsmann und kann einen guten Gegner würdigen. Schöne Geschichten sind das Salz in der Suppe des Lebens und zu Weihnachten kriegt er im notorischen Briefumschlag einen Extraschein als Leistungszulage.
Ich bin ein Verfechter der Leistungsgesellschaft, zumindest, was mich selbst angeht.
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İlişkimde yaşadığım sorunlar beni çok yıpratmıştı. Eşimle sürekli tartışıyor, anlaşamıyorduk ve kopma noktasına gelmiştik. Son çare olarak medyum haluk hoca ile görüştüm. Bana bağlama büyüsü yaptı ve sürecin nasıl ilerleyeceğini detaylı şekilde açıkladı. Kısa süre içinde eşimin bana olan ilgisi ve sevgisi arttı, aramızdaki bağ güçlendi. Evimizin huzuru yeniden yerine geldi. Hocanın tecrübesi, samimiyeti ve güvenilirliği sayesinde kendimi çok rahat hissettim. Gerçekten işinde uzman bir hoca. Kesinlikle şiddetle medyum haluk hocayı öneriyorum, bağlama büyüsü konusunda en doğru adres kendisidir.
Sevdiğim insanı kaybettiğimde umudum tükenmişti. Medyum haluk hoca ile görüştüm ve bana geri getirme duası yaptı. Kısa sürede sonuç aldım, sevgilim bana geri döndü. Güvenilirliği ve ilgisiyle farkını gösterdi. Kesinlikle şiddetle medyum haluk hocayı öneriyorum.
Zor günlerimde yanımda olan medyum haluk hoca sayesinde hayatım düzene girdi. Bağlama duası yaptırdım ve kısa sürede etkisini gördüm. Gerçekten güvenilir, samimi ve işinin ehli biri. Kesinlikle önemle medyum haluk hocayı öneriyorum, pişman olmayacağınızı bilmelisiniz.
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Zor zamanlarımda tanıştığım medyum haluk hoca bana büyük destek oldu. Onun yaptığı bağlama duası sayesinde ilişkim toparlandı ve sevgilim bana daha bağlı hale geldi. Güvenilir, samimi ve işinde gerçekten uzman bir hoca. Kesinlikle önemle medyum haluk hocayı öneriyorum.
Benim hayatımda en zor günlerde yanımda olan medyum haluk yıldız hoca oldu. Onun sayesinde kaybettiğim huzurumu tekrar buldum. Bağlama duası yaptırdım ve kısa sürede etkisini gördüm. Kesinlikle medyum haluk hocayı önemle tavsiye ederim, güvenilir ve işinin ehli bir hoca.
Medyum Haluk Hoca, yılların tecrübesiyle insanların sorunlarına çözümler sunan güvenilir bir isimdir. Özellikle aşk büyüsü, bağlama büyüsü, muska ve ritüel alanlarında başarılı sonuçlarıyla tanınır. Danışanlarının güvenini kazanmış, sabırla ve ilimle yol gösteren bir medyum hocadır.
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